Day 13 - Homeward Bound?

Should I Stay, or Should I Go

In fact, the option to stay here is not realistic, as all hotels across Spain are likely closing down.

Castillo Son Vida will be down to around 30% occupancy tomorrow - crazy Germans wanting to play golf.......if only the courses hadn’t been closed down.

We turned in at about 22:00 last night and were worried enough to be wide awake zgzjn by 12:30 until about 15:00, when I came across an easyJet announcement on Facebook that provided a little comfort and so after upping my Duolingo scores to more or less guarantee promotion to the Diamond League tomorrow and finishing Laidlaw, we went back to sleep until about 06:15.

Another beautiful sunrise appears over the Sanctuary of Cura to the East beyond the airport.

We stopped by Recepcion to see if there were any overnight up-dates on the State of Emergency measures (No!) and then went down to breakfast - strangely quiet there today, compared to the last 11 days.

Back in the room, we finish our leaving rituals and then we’re ready for the off  - now, where’s Pedro to help with our luggage?

He appears soon afterwards with our 4 items, loads them into the car and then we say our goodbyes, telling them all to stay safe.

Drive to Airport

The MA-20, which is usually teeming with traffic is eerily quiet, as the State of Emergency is compelling locals not to undertake non-essential travel and to stay at home - otherwise, it’s tourists like us trying to get to the Airport to get out of here.

Avis Drop-off

You’d think that they’d have invented a machine by now that would scan the condition of the hire car on return, check the speedo and automate the entire process, but of course here in Mallorca at least, they need a man to do that.........and he’s nowhere to be seen at the Avis terminal.

Eventually, he appears and drops the key fob three times, as he fiddles with the App that contains all of the relevant information he needs to verify, eventually shattering it into at least three pieces on the concrete floor. Mental note to self - check what you sign, to ensure that he’s not trying to put the repair cost on me!

No, I’m home and free - no additional charges on this occasion!

Check-in / Security

Although the roads were quiet, we’d expected the terminal to be heaving with panicking tourists trying get out of Spain, but whereas a few of the airline bag-drop queues were lengthy, we were three hours early and as Speedy Boarders, able to join a relatively short line, where 5 minutes later, we say goodbye to our hold luggage, collect the printed boarding passes that Sandra regards as her ‘right’ and head for security.

The normally longest / most tortuous part of the airport process was not as bad as usual on this occasion, as there simply aren’t the number of passengers being processed.

We utilise just the 6 trays for our hand luggage, outerwear and bits and pieces, remembering to take the iPads out of the carry-on..........but not the cameras out of my camera bag, which I had to humour them with, before being allowed to proceed, after re-dressing / collecting our valuables and pulling-up my cargo pants, which were around my knees without a belt to hold them up.

Duty Free / Retail Experience

Result!

All of the duty free shops and cafes / bars are closed, with only vending machines working to dispense their contents to anyone daft enough to join the first ones that we encounter - there must have been about fifty people trying to get their bottles of water!

Progressively, as we make our way forward through the terminal, the vending machine queues shorten, but it’s a weird experience, compared to the normally buzzing public areas.

We find a seat at the beginning of the designated Zone A that easyJet are using, and await a gate announcement, and wait, and wait, and wait.

That’s the downside to being so early.

Gate A19

When the gate announcement is eventually made, we find that we are only a short walk down the corridor and find ourselves #2 in the queue for Speedy Boarders, behind a chap from Chester who I get chatting to.

We overhear the check-in lady saying that they will be using both gates A18 / A19, once the Bristol bound easyJet flight has departed, so sidle across to A18, when appropriate to maintain our position.

I’ve been tracking via Livetracking the inbound flight on my easyJet App and see that it is over France and about halfway to Mallorca, with about 46 minutes to go before landing.

Amazingly, given the chaos that is all around us, the App is showing an eta for LGW of 13:42, only 12 minutes behind schedule.

We’re going home!

easyJet Flight #EZY8622

We take our seats in 1E & 1F again, speedy boarding have done what is says on the tin and I lug my cabin luggage into the overhead locker on both sides of the aisle, so that when we land, we should be able to get off there pronto.

The flight is surprisingly not full, with a couple of spare seats in the front row across the aisle and the entire row behind that empty - whether they are no-shows, or what, I couldn’t say.

Hopefully, it’ll make baggage reclaim less painful than on a full flight when we get to Gatwick.

The sun is shining, we’d love to be staying in some respects, but after the uncertainty last night are more than a little relieved to be on the way home.

It appearsthat the Hive App is not talking to the router at home, so we’ll not have any heating / hot water when we get home, but I suspect that will be the least of our worries.

Enhanced Immigration Measures

In fact, there is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary at Gatwick.

Apart from a Border Control lady asking where I’d flown from when the automatic scanner thingie didn’t recognise me again (can’t wait for my passport to expire and get a new blue one), there we absolutely no additional precautions taken in going through the airport.

Coming from the second worst affected Country is Europe, I’d half-expected at least a question about whether we’d shown any symptoms, or even a temperature test, but no.........nothing!

Reading about the UK approach to coronavirus, we seem to be adopting a different approach to the rest of Europe, which is slowly locking down the population. Let’s hope our usual ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ approach is the right one.

Dudley picks us up outside M&S, where we’ve stocked-up on milk and a few food essentials to ensure we’ve got something for breakfast tomorrow and then whisks us through the backroads of Surrey to pick-up the M25 at Reigate, after the M23 was closed for maintenance. He tells us what has been happening, although he’d been away himself for part of our absence visiting South Africa.

Gee But It’s Great to Be Back Home

There you go, two Paul Simon song titles in a single post!

The house is freezing when we open the front door at 15:00, so I fiddle with the Hive to get things fired-up and then we pop out to Waitrose before it closes at 16:00 to see if all the stories of panic buying are true - surely not at Waitrose (the prices they charge).

Sure enough some things are in short supply, but we manage to get what we need and will no batten down the hatches and get slowly get back into our normal way of life.

Home, sweet home.

Day 12 - Palma / Paella

Overnight Sensation

Despite having all that meat sloshing around in my delicate tummy, I slept well - safe in the knowledge that I had captured most of the blog content for yesterday before switching-off the light, safe in the knowledge that my #2 position in the Duolingo Obsidian League is secure and not overly worried about getting stuck here in Mallorca, as the State of Emergency starts to take effect.

I wake at about 06:30 (normal time for me) and read another few chapters of Laidlaw - that’s over 200 pages now, something of a record for me on holiday since I started to blog / duolinger most of my waking hours.

Madam eventually stirs beside me and we are up and ready for breakfast by 07:40 - the place is more or less deserted at this time of day, before the golfers emerge from their beds and tuck-in before their battle with the course. If there is a downside, it is that I’m trying to be restrained today; not so much because my weight has yo-yo’ed back up by 2 Kgs, but because I want to leave a little room for lunch - paella!

Wardrobe Malfunction

Today is set to be another 20 degrees Celsius plus day here in Mallorca & Sandra and I reflect that apart from the wind, this has probably been the best weather that we’ve experienced at this time of year - 4 / 5 days solid now of 20+ degrees - lovely jubbly!

The problem is that we have not really brought much of a Summer wardrobe and are running short of t-shirts. Despite having spent at least three weeks since we were in Dorset last month, Sandra confides that she hasn’t really brought the right clothes for this climate - and no, this wasn’t one of her subtle hints to pop into Palma later for some retail therapy - it’s too late in the holiday for that.

Even the nights have been relatively warm, with no need to rug-up with scarves and hats against the evening chill. Unheard of for her, Sandra asked me to turn-on the air-conditioning in the room last night, when she woke up feeling hot. Don’t worry, she doesn’t have a temperature - I have to say, it was quite ‘cosy’.

Whether it is global warming or not, I couldn’t say, but next year when we bring more complete Summer wardrobe, you can bet that it will be freezing - I even recall waking-up, opening the curtains and seeing snow fall one morning in 2010!

We’ve Gotta Get Out of This Place

Sandra & I recently watched a Sky Arts documentary about Eric Burton, the Geordie lead singer of the Animals; famous for his vocal on House of the Rising Sun and for allegedly being the ‘eggman’ in John Lennon’s Magical Mystery Tour lyric.

It was fascinating to hear how the band broke-up when Eric, Chas Chandler and the other two members realised that all of the song-writing royalties for their global hit were attributed to keyboard player, Alan Price, who refused the cut them in. Chandler went on to fame and fortune managing Jimi Hendrix, Eric went off to California to become a hippy, where he still lives in the desert at Joshua Tree, touring occasionally and still belting out the old tunes, before returning to the North-East to seek sanctuary in Lindisfarne - as if the Mojave Desert wasn’t remote enough.

My reason for mentioning all of this is to add context to another of the Animals hit records, We’ve Gotta Get Out of This Place (if it’s the last thing we ever do). The local news about Spain’s State of Emergency is that the lockdown is progressively taking hold.

We learn later in the day that Jet2 has cancelled all of its flights to and from Spain, even turning back flights mid-air - just as well we’re flying easyJet, whose App continues to show our flight as being ‘on schedule’.

I WhatsApp Dudley, our taxi driver to tell him that all things being equal, we’ll see him tomorrow.

R&R

Sandra & I agree that we’ll let our breakfast digest for an hour or so, before heading into Palma on the 10:30 bus, well ahead of schedule for our 13:00 lunch reservation at Ca n’Eduardo.

She nips out onto the room balcony to catch the morning sun and read her book, whilst I consolidate my position in the Obsidian League, by racking-up another 220Xps, converting another 11 modules from Level 2 to Level 3 without too much difficulty, apart from struggling with the Duolingo technology, which doesn’t work well over the hotel’s wifi, which still seems much slower than I remember in previous years.

And then it’d down to Recepcion by 10:15, where we chat to Ramon / Jose Francesco before wandering down to the bus stop to await the #7 bus into Palma.

We’re sitting on the wall outside the hotel gate, when the bus comes up the hill around the corner and goes sailing by without the customary stop for the driver to go and have a pee in the bushes across the road - what the hell!

So, rather than waste another hour waiting for the next one, we hail a taxi who has just dropped someone off at the hotel and ride in comfort down into the City Centre, where he drops us at the top of the Passeig de Born.

It’s a short stroll down to the seafront Passeig Maritim, where we are intent on a leisurely stroll along the promenade to Portixol.

Exercise

Since ruining my 300+ day streak last week, I must admit that I’ve become somewhat relaxed about the Apple Watch reminders, reminding me that I’ve missed the odd exercise target, reversed my trends and whatever other metrics Apple thinks it can use to rule my life.

It hasn’t worried me one iota whilst I was feeling less than 100%, these last few days, but today I am at about 90% of my peak, and intent on working out some of my frustrations. Sandra is my willing companion.

And so we stride out, eventually reaching Portixol, where we ate fish on Monday night, a lovely walk amongst many other like-minded people, walking, running, skating, scootering, cycling - all intent on burning a few calories on this bright sunny day.

After about 50 minutes we reach Portixol; we’ve covered about 3.75 Kms, it’s getting on for midday, and we must turn tail and head back to the City Centre / Port, where our restaurant is located above the Fisherman’s Market.

Ca n’Eduardo

We climb the steps to the restaurante above the fish market, on the stroke of 13:00..........to find that the place is deserted.

Johnny, an Irishman, who is now running this place, explains that whereas it would normally be heaving with locals and tourists alike on a Saturday lunchtime, the States of Emergency has hit trade badly. He goes on to say that he knows Castillo Son Vida very well and a lot of the long-standing staff, as until a few years back he used to work in the kitchen as a chef - small world!

The waiter comes over to take our order and being creatures of habit, we know what we’d like and resist his suggestions of fresh fish and a nice white wine from Northern Spain, explaining that we’ve eaten here many times before and know exactly what we’d like to eat and drink.

And so, we proceed to order calamari to start, followed by a mixed paella, with a bottle of white Mallorquin wine that I’ve been tempted to try elsewhere this last 12 days, Can Axartell, another malvasia blend, this time with Premsal Blanc grapes from Pollenca.

The food was delicious, the service attentive (not surprising, as there was only ourselves and three other tables occupied) and for the first time, we failed to clear our plates. My excuse was that I didn’t want to over-burden my recovering digestive system with too much rich food ahead of our flight tomorrow........maybe.

Sandra had quite another, ulterior, motive.

Ghost Town

The lyrics of the Specials’ two-tone record of the year for 1981 resonated in my mind as we headed back towards the old town of Palma:-

🎶 This town (town) is coming like a ghost town, All the clubs have been closed down 🎶

An enterprising merchant in one of the newspaper / bookseller kiosks on the Rambla is even optimistic that he might finally dispose of an old Robin Cook paperback - strategically positioning a battered copy of Pandemic visibly in the rack (I recall reading this book back in the day - about a virus outbreak, but its very relevant at this time).

Streets that would normally be heaving with people are eerily quiet as we head for Hotel Mama in Placa Cort - Mrs Shaw has left a little bit of space for a coffee and final slice of torta de almendra!

The waitress comes over to our table and proceeds to spray the table after the previous occupants had upped and left - part of the new health and safety measures imposed by the State of Emergency no doubt. I raise a smile when I lift my feet and have her spray my feet and Birkenstocks as well as the table top!

An even bigger smile crosses her face, when I order by showing the photograph of the receipt from Cappucciono the other day, explaining that Sandra likes her coffee muy muy muy muy hot!

It duly arrives, with a nice slice of cake, and then it’s off to look for a taxi back to the hotel, where we have a language lesson waiting, but not before a wholly unexpected event.

Noticing that it is 15:50, and we are at the top of the Passeig del Born, I suggest to Sandra that we wait and see if for once we can catch the bus back to Son Vida, and make-up for the earlier disappointment.

Imagine our surprise when not only does the #7 Son Vida bus come round the corner, but the driver refuses my offer of €5 for our two €2 fares to Son Vida - we subsequently discover from Mathew that part of the new coronavirus countermeasures decree is that Bus Drivers are forbidden from accepting cash / money!

I head back to the room wondering if the same applies to hotels, with my account to settle before we leave in the morning, but then recall that Davinia took an imprint of my credit card when we checked-in - shucks!

Language Lessons

No, not Duolingo, but our one-to-one sessions in the Bar Armas, where Jose Antonio seems impressed when we tell where we’ve eaten for lunch - Comemos almuerzo hoy en Palma, a Ca n’Eduardo - paella!

Then Antonio brings our drinks out onto the Balcony of Mallorca, where Sandra enjoys the last of the afternoon sun in one of her favourite places, wondering to herself when (if?!) we’ll next return.

The ultimo cava / cerveza grande go down very nicely and then its back to the room for the worst part of any holiday - packing!  But at least, I am not distracted from having to watch 6 Nations rugby as invariably has been the case in previous years - usually involving an anti-climax from England these last few years.

Photography

Some of you may be wondering why I haven’t succumbed to the cult of the selfie in these pages - I just don’t feel the need to include my ugly mug in the picture, spoiling what to me is a better picture of what I see in front of me (ideally without anyone cluttering up the image).

Occasionally, when Sandra might remember to put her own iphone into her bag when we go out somewhere for the day, she might just bring it out sneakily and she has been known to fire off the odd snap of me snapping, unaware of what she is up to.

By her own admission, she’s not a talented photographer and I think this image proves the point, from our visit to Soller last week. Honestly, I stood there posing for about 10 seconds, whilst she adjusted the settings, framed the image and then pressed the shutter..........only to find afterwards that she nearly got my head and feet in the shot!

Even using the iPhone camera’s ‘live’ facility, which takes about twenty images before and after you hit the shoot button, failed to improve the situation, although admittedly she did get all of my feet in - so now you know why I rarely feature!

Pack-up All Your Cares and Woes

If only it were that simple - news of the impending lockdown here in Spain continues to cause confusion and uncertainty.

When we pop along the corridor to settle our bill, Davinia & Mathew up-date us on developments from their News service and think that we should be OK getting out of Mallorca tomorrow, but other guests who have longer stays planned are being advised to review their plans.

The easyJet App still has nothing more recent than yesterday’s coronavirus notification and our flight is still showing as on schedule.

Being British, we ‘keep calm and carry on’!

Back to the room and pack the suitcases and luggage ready for the off tomorrow morning - an hour later; all done.

So, now we just have to get some rest, pop down to breakfast at 07:30, drive over to the airport at 09:00 to drop the hire car off and then catch the 12:00 flight home.................

Day 11 - Deia / Valldemossa

Medical Bulletin / Weight Watch

You’ll be almost as relieved as I am to hear that there is good news overnight on both of these fronts.

I have ‘flushed’ my system, by drinking copious amounts of agua and that seems to have done the trick, with my stomach and intestines back to perhaps 70 / 80% of their ‘normal’ state.

The impact on my weight is such that despite being over-hydrated if anything, I have now successfully shed all of the 3 Kgs that I put on over the first week and perhaps a little bit more...........so I can tuck into a full English breakfast this morning and get my full-value money’s worth from the Es Castell buffet.................or maybe not!

Another factor which has no doubt contributed to my improved wellbeing is that I slept much better, ahead of the curve when I read that today is apparently World Sleep Day, whatever that means. Who is it that determines these things and how can they improve their marketing - I heard this from the company who used to supply meds for Bella, but not for example from Fitbit / Boots, or any of those stakeholders who are supposed to care for my personal health, rather than just sell me more of their products.

Desayuno

Sandra is ravenous this morning and hurriedly goes through her waking routine, before dragging me a little more enthusiastically than on the previous two mornings to breakfast.

She fills her plate to the brim full of cheese, pastries, ham, and whatever else she can carry back to the table, whereas I content myself with my muesli / banana mix (but no dried figs) and a Greek yoghurt. I can also stomach an omelette this morning, but substitute a couple of croissants for my usual complement of bacon rashers (too greasy methinks).

Head for the Hills

Having beaten the rush to breakfast this morning, we are also ahead of schedule in leaving Son Vida for our day’s excursion, picking-up the car key from Pedro at 09:30 and driving North on the Soller road, through the tunnel and then turning South to head for our first destination, Deia.

Deia

For once, we are early enough to have beaten the rush and manage to grab one of the free roadside parking places on the edge of town, relishing the walk along the boardwalk that runs alongside the main road.

Sandra, who knows the location of every bano publico on the Island persuades the lady in the Tourist Information office to let her use the facilities upstairs in the Ajuntament, when we find the public toilet up the road closed and locked.

From there, we head up the hill behind the town hall, and reach the church and cemetery after about 15 minutes. The church is locked and again our attempts to find the location of Robert Graves’ (I Claudius) last resting place, which we know to be here somewhere, are thwarted - there are painters / artists and two other Graves named on headstones, but no Robert that we can identify.

We re-trace our steps, head back to the main road and then continue around the boardwalk to the Southern end of town, from where the views are spectacular.

We have the boardwalk largely to ourselves, only encountering two other couples who have ventured this far out of the centre, but then almost trample underfoot a ‘critter’ which we nearly mistake for foliage, only realising that it is a Mantis not very well camouflaged on the wooden slats, saying its prayers no doubt and not bothered at all when I zoom in to take a photo, only swivelling it’s head to keep a beady eye on my movements, evaluating the potential threat to its continued existence.

Heading back to the car, we continue South on the MA-10 and turn inland after a short while, headed for stop #2, Valldemossa.

Valldemossa

Those of you who remember my Un Hiver a Mallorque blog a few years back will know that this is the place where George Sand and Frederick Chopin spent a fateful Winter many years ago, looking for a health cure to combat the composer’s ails.

Seems I was more successful than he, as it is lovely sitting in the sun at the Cappuccino cafe, enjoying a cafe con leche and torta de almendra for lunch - I’ve missed them these last few days.

Now, we need to walk that indulgence off - there’s a sign over there saying that one can climb a tower (Miranda dels Lledoners, whoever they might be!) with splendid panoramic views of the Cartoixa (Carthusian Monastery) which dominates the pretty little town. The lady explains that it involves only 82 steps, and costs only €3 p.p. so we wait 5 minutes for the 13:00 party to depart and then join the two other couples who ascend the spiral staircase with the guide.........only to find that the view is hardly panoramic and through dirty glass windows besides.

Still, be thankful for small mercies, we got up and down without incident, and Sandra’s worst fears were not realised so we’ll take that as a plus.

We strolled around the rest of the pretty town, past the monastery into the gardens and then downhill and past the St Bartholemew church and birthplace of Saint Catalina Thomas, Mallorca’s favourite Nun, before heading back to the car park and then home to Son Vida, only stopping to fill-up the car with petrol en-route as the chances are we won’t drive tomorrow, our last full day before heading home on Sunday..............perhaps!

Don’t Panic Captain Mainwaring!

As I write-up the day’s events some hours later, it seems not to have had any detrimental effect on my digestion, so all is looking good again...........except that on returning to Son Vida at 15:00, all is doom and gloom as Spain declares a State of Emergency and is apparently restricting access to bars, discos and clubs.

Ramon phones through to the restaurante that we are booked at tonight and they tell us that business is as usual, so that is good and we are assured of a bed for as long as we need it in the event that we are stranded here - even if Sandra has to sleep with the Pet Bunny in the spare-room at Miguel / Bettina’s! My easyJet App tells me that our flight on Sunday is still scheduled to leave on time, so that looks promising, but this appears to be a fast-moving situation, so watch this space.

I also note from an Apple News bulletin that the Foreign & Commonwealth Office has issued advice to UK citizens not to travel to parts of Spain, but on reading further, note with relief that it is largely Madrid, which is now second only to Italy in European terms, to be affected so badly by the virus. Later, Matthew tells us that the Canary Islands have been cut-off!

Oo’er?

The Wind is Up

Don’t worry, my tummy is still OK - not that sort of wind!

After an hour’s R&R in our room, we head for the Bar Armas, having quietly practiced the stock phrase that Jose Antonio taught us the other day - the problem is that he gave it to Sandra, so I am going to have to change the order and substitute masculine for feminine - now where were we:-

‘Buenos Tardes Senor, Me pones una cerveza grande por favor y una copa de cava para mi esposa”

Not a bad effort, he concedes, only correcting me in relation to Sandra, who is my ‘Chica’ (girl) - wife is far too formal amongst friends!

We head for the Balcony of Mallorca, where there is only one other hardy soul braving the elements - the sun is shining, but unlike Deia & Valldemossa, it is very windy, and so we have to hold down our drinks whilst we sit there for the next 35 minutes, catching-up on the news and enjoying the drinks / nibbles for the first time in a couple of days.

There is a suggestion that we might head for the indoor pool, but I honestly feel too lethargic for a swim and know that in this sort of weather it will be very warm in there, under the glass roof, so we return to the room for the rest of our R&R routine - blogging / Duolingering / napping (it’s a tough old life).

R&R

More blogging / napping / Duolingering - I’m up to my rightful place amongst those at the top of the league; in second place, 200 XP ahead of the person in #3, but a distant 179 off first place and having now converted all of my level 1 modules to level two, things are going to get harder in converting them to level three...........now here’s a thought; perhaps I could persuade Jose Antonio or another of the Son Vida staff could sign-in as me during some quiet moments in the Bar Armas / Recepcion?

That would be cheating, wouldn’t it and I just wouldn’t feel right after all of the weeks of learning.

Panic Measures

OK, it’s time to fess-up - I have been known to filch the odd pen / bar of soap from the hotels that we’ve stayed at over the years, but nothing major like some people I know, who have somehow managed to cram their suitcases with towels, bathrobes etc.

Reading of the shortage of some essentials back in the supermarkets at home, I am wondering how I might manage to squeeze into the suitcase the odd toilet roll / box of tissues?

Knowing that Pep reads some of this rubbish during his quiet moments on the Concierge Desk, perhaps I’d better not!

Creatures of Habit..........

For whatever reason, I looked back at my blog from two years ago earlier in the day and spookily discovered that on our last Friday before flying home, we visited Deia & Valldemossa, before eating dinner at Xorigeur in the evening - guess where we’ve booked tonight?

Coincidence, or is there something more to it?!

Xorigeur - Carnivores Welcome

We first ate at this basque restaurante in Fabrica Street, Santa Catalina two years ago and enjoyed the experience, so with my tummy on the mend and in need of a good steak for the first time this week, that is what we fancy tonight.

What’s the chances that we order an identical meal to last time?

Deja Vu - you knew we were going to, the waiter (who seemed to remember Sandra from two years ago) knew we were going to, we were going to and so it was!

Mojellos to start - that’s sweetbreads to you. Not everyone’s taste, but deliciously tasty and tender, when grilled to perfection and served simply with a little salt and pimientos.

Then we shared a platter of Hereford ribeye steak, although this time it was accompanied by ‘scratchings’ of potatoes, rather than French Fries, with a few grilled vegetables on the side (sorry, Sandra had started to tuck-in before I could grab my photo).

All washed down with a bottle of Muga red, a favourite Rioja, which seemed to represent better value for money than some of the Mallorcan wines on the carta del vino.

We declined postres in the hope of ‘legging it’ back over to the city centre to grab a coffee at Cappuccino, but missed their 22:00 closing time by ten  minutes - never mind, two on the same day would have been over-indulgence!

If there is any criticism of this restaurante, it is the lack of atmosphere, on account of the sparsely populated tables - we were first to arrive just after opening, and were the only diners for the first course shortly after it opened at 20:30. By the time we left just after 21:30, only three tables were occupied & Ramon had told us that this is typical. Whether it is the location at the far end of Santa Catalina, the decor or the fact that they were playing dirges by Ed Sheeran over their sound system I couldn’t say!

On returning to Son Vida, with a very friendly taxi driver, who tried to engage us in conversation en Espanol, we chatted to Matthew, Ferran & Bettina before retiring to bed, where we discover that despite being on a day off today, Pep has arranged delivery of today’s Mallorquin saying.

The Idiom’s Guide to Mallorca

I could have sworn that we’d already had an idiom attributable to Miquel, but perhaps its my memory playing tricks.

Anyway, today’s Bon mots are:-

‘D’es teu pa faras Ses sopes’

.....which translates literally as ‘From your bread you will make their soups’

Put into context, it means that one's actions can have an effect on other people.

Day 10 - Marivent / Puerto Portals / Llubi

Weight Watching

If there are any positives to be taken from having a dodgy tummy for two days, it is that the inexorable increase in my weight as I step onto the scales each morning this holiday has been reversed..........well halved anyway.

Another couple of days of this and I’ll be back to where I started!

Desayuno

I didn’t really feel in the mood for eating, but have been persuaded by everyone from Sandra to Pep, to Mathew, to Tomas, to Jose to try to eat something simple to sort out my stomach.

Tomas’ suggestion of pa amb oli (A Mallorquin Favourite, with tomato spread onto garlic bread) sounds the least attractive, but fortunately although I could probably have ordered it especially, I didn’t find any on the Es Castell buffet, so stuck to my tried and tested muesli / banana & Greek yoghurt, merely sipping at my juice / coffee.

Someone else suggested strong black coffee, but I don’t think that would do the trick.

Back in the room, I contemplate taking an Imodium tablet from our travelling medicine chest, but resisted the temptation, believing in the old adage, ‘better out than in’! I did stir a sachet of blackcurrent flavoured Dioralyte into a glass of water, and downed that to keep my salts / electrolytes balanced.

Now, we have a couple of hours to fill this morning, before heading North for lunch.

Marivent

Sandra had read about the opening of the gardens surrounding the Marivent Palace, home to the Spanish Royalty when they stay here in Palma, as they often do during the Summer months.

When mentioning it to Pep and then Inge, she received different opinions as to the experience - both turned out to be right, when we subsequently stopped by en route to Puerto Portals.

Pep was correct when he said that it was small, whereas Inge was also correct, when she said that it was pretty.

Neither mentioned the biggest problem - finding somewhere to park the car, as there is only pedestrian access in a busy part of the City close to the Port, in Cala Major. We eventually found a roadside space in a street across the road and walked there, where we were the only visitors at that time of day, wandering as the gardeners and security guards patrolled and went about their business.

It took no more than 15 minutes to complete the circuit and not a sign of any Royalty in residence.

Puerto Portals

This port, one of the classiest on the Island, became a favourite for a stroll and a coffee (at the Cappuccino cafe, of course) when we stayed at the St Regis Mardavall hotel in 2014 and we usually stop by to mix with the rich and famous at least once during our time in Mallorca.

Today, we timed our visit especially well, as the Puerto Portals XVI Rally Clasico was about to get underway.

When talking about the hazards to be avoided in descending the Snake to Sa Calobra, I forgot to mention that you certainly didn’t want to coincide with the Rally Clasico when the roads are full of seriously fast drivers risking life and limb in their classic souped-up Minis, Porsches and all manner of performance cars, complete with ‘go fast stripes’ and the full regalia.

In fact, as we recall from viewing the Rothmans RAC rally in Cyprus many years ago, seeing the cars stationary is far more rewarding than seeing them zoom past every 10 minutes or so in a blur of speed and cacophony of noise.

This added to this year’s visit and outshone some of the very classy yachts which were moored in the Marina.

Because of my dodgy tummy we avoided the Cappuccino cafe on this occasion.

Returning to Son Vida, Sandra asked Ramon to check whether we might change our lunch reservation from today to Saturday, but alas Daica is fully booked, so we decide to go ahead regardless, even though I might not be able to enjoy it to its fullest.

We change and then hit the road once more on the familiar route North to Inca, where we leave the highway and head towards Llubi, a small town in the North of the Central Plain to the East of the Tramuntana.

Daica

This has become a firm favourite dining experience of ours during our last 5 visits to the Island, having first sampled Cati Pieras’ cooking when she was the chef at Es Vi, Son Vida’s signature restaurant many years ago.

Her inspiration and innovation in cooking fine / local ingredients in season never fail to impress whenever we dine there and the service, overseen by her husband David Ribas, who we now know quite well too, is excellent and attentive.

The ambience in their restaurant is welcoming and with the Kadjar’s thermometer hitting 26 degrees Celsius as we drove there, today was perfect to accept a table in the small courtyard between the bar and the restaurant, which was fuller than we recall on previous visits.

David helped me choose a wine that I’ve not tried before, Mortitx Blanc, blended from Malvasia & Muscat grapes not far from Lluc on the road that we drove from Pollenca yesterday. As I’m driving, we’ll drink a glass with the food and bring the bottle back to Son Vida to enjoy later.

Although I’ll probably not enjoy the full range of food as much as usual with my dodgy tummy, we decide to stick with the Winter Tasting Menu, which has more than satisfied on past visits - and so it was today, starting with the theatre of the first plate............literally.

Everything in the wooden tray was edible and largely made from sweetcorn, to warrant the title of the dish, “A Day at the Cinema” - clever and tasty.

We worked our way carefully through the rest of the delicious courses, all presented beautifully to the best effect on stylish plates, and fortunately not too problematic for my dysfunctional digestive system, although I didn’t manage to devour all of the artichokes from the third course - not that they weren’t nice covered in jamon iberico and black truffle, but I feared for the wind effect.

But that was all that I didn’t at least sample and by the end of the meal, I was feeling no worse than before, so we settled up and said our goodbyes to Cati & David, promising to return next year, when I’ll hopefully be able to do justice to the amazing gastronomy that Daica consistently produces.

An Early Night

And that was more or less it for me, for the rest of the day, as having driven back to Son Vida, I retired to the room and rested, polishing off a few lessons of Duolingo when not napping and then starting to write-up the day’s blog before finally turning in for the night.

Bored, when she finished reading her fourth book of the holiday, Sandra popped along the corridor a couple of times to stretch her legs - we’re well short of our exercise targets for the day, but having broken the streak last week, I’ve now missed my targets on a couple more occasions, prioritising my other obsessions (Duolingo & Blogging) instead.

The Idiom’s Guide to Mallorca

In the absence of a turn-down service due to the room being occupied, Pep had to resort to more magic in delivering today’s idiom, slipping the saying discreetly into the Do Not Disturb sign on the door, which I discovered later and feature here.

“Qui mira enforcer, cau apron”

Not as rude as Tomas’ offering yesterday, Google Translate offers a reasonable interpretation of Mathew’s contribution to our little game:-

“whoever looks beyond falls near”

.........with the explanation going on to clarify that the phrase is used to warn those looking too far into the distance that they may fail to see what is much closer to hand and trip up over something obvious nearer to home.

Day 9 - Lluc / Sa Calobra

Oh What a Night

You don’t need to know all of the details, but suffice to say that I had a bad night, lack of sleep attributable to frequent toilet breaks - ‘nuff said!

To be honest, I didn’t really fancy breakfast at all, but agreed to accompany Sandra down to the restaurant to repay her for all of the times when the roles have been reversed and she has felt dreadful, but sat there whilst I chomp on my cornflakes.....or whatever.

We were 20 minutes later in going down and found that the place was heaving with golfers trying to stock-up their energy levels ahead of a long day walking the fairways of Son Vida, Son Quint or Son Muntaner, whichever of the three courses they were playing today.

When I briefly opened the curtains and took a photo of the glorious sunrise this morning, little did I know that I’d be grateful to avoid a window seat in the full glare of the sun, so we were pleased to sit at a table in the middle of the room.

Sandra went through her usual courses, whilst I managed a small bowl of muesli, Greek yoghurt and a little orange juice and coffee. The queasiness has largely passed now and I’m just left windy and bloated.

We head back to the bedroom, where I lie down for 30 / 40 minutes, during which time I manage to digest the breakfast, such that we decide to proceed with our original plan for the day - to head for the Serra de Tramuntana.

Serra de Tramuntana

Apart from the dessert at DINS the other night, and the host drive from Soller to Fornalutx, we haven’t really experienced the Serra de Tramuntana this holiday.

This is the chain of mountains that runs from the South West corner of the Island all the way along the North West coast and is so beautiful that it has been designated a UNESCO World Heritage site.

Our first stop is going to be one of the most important religious sites on the Island, Lluc (pronounced Yuk), but rather than take the more usual route from Palma, leaving the motorway at Inca and heading into the mountains, having overheard someone talking the other day about the route from the North, we head first for Pollenca and then turn South into the mountains, where we encounter our first driving hazard.

No, not the narrow twisting roads, which switchback up and down the mountain passes, but the cyclists from all over the World who invade Mallorca at this time of the year and head for the hills, to practice for the Tour de France or whatever - seriously Team Sky / Ineos have a base here which they use as a Winter training camp.

The professional cyclists are not a problem, but some of the amateurs who are either unfit and struggle to maintain a straight line, or the fitter ones who habitually ride two-abreast so that they can talk about their prowess to each other - anyway, they can hinder motorists struggling to overtake with so many blind spots.

Lluc

The Sanctuary of Lluc is a massive religious complex in the Mountains, nestled in a Valley, at quite high altitude, but remote from other settlements, as befits the habits of monks (geddit?!).

We’ve visited before, but as we drive into the usual spacious car park we notice a change - there is a sign from Spiritual Mallorca indicating a special offer, ticket + car parking for €5. To be honest I cannot recall paying for access to the Sanctuary’s attractions before, but we have supported Spiritual Mallorca before, so part with our €10 and head towards the monastery.

From there we do the usual pilgrimage into the Basilica, and then round the back into the chapel containing the most precious relic, the Statue of the Virgin which is on display as we visit - past times, the altar is rotated, so that the statue is hidden from view.

We don’t hang around to hear the Choir of schoolboys singing in procession, but head outside and climb the Cami dels Misteris up the hill behind the Sanctuary, where a cross sits at the top of the walk.........and then make our way back down.

All of this was familiar territory, but the SM brochure indicated that we could access the Museum, which we’d not done before. Apart from the religious artefacts and paraphernalia, there were some nice paintings by local artists who had lived and painted in the Serra, courtesy of a donation from Josep Coll Bardolet.

Once outside, we headed around the back of the Basilica for the first time and ventured into the Botanical Garden, although we didn’t complete the circuit, as the path was quite rugged and we were wearing sandals.

The Spiritual Mallorca ticket seems to have afforded decent value for money with our new experiences, so we head back to the car, change into our walking boots and head further into the Mountains.

Sa Calobra

There are three ways to access the Port of Sa Calobra:-

1. By boat from Soller
2. An excursion (hike) along the Torrent de Pareis - this walk is one of the most famous in Mallorca and whilst I might have had ambitions to give it a try 20 years ago, I fear that the exertion of clambering up and down ladders and ropes, through streams, over boulders etc is probably beyond my physical capabilities these days. See for yourself at the following link - http://www.torrentdepareis.info/thehike.htm
3. By driving down the infamous MA-2141 road, known locally as ‘the snake’ on account of the switchbacks that descend to the coast - our one realistic option

MA-2141 ‘The Snake’

Timing is everything when it comes to tackling this tortuous drive, as there are certain other vehicular traffic to be avoided at any cost - in no particular order:-

1. Cyclists - although it is inevitable that you will meet some, preferably when returning uphill, as they freewheel downhill and are more problematic to overtake
2. Jeremy Clarkson & his petrolhead mates trialling some new supercar
3. Buses - there is an occasional TIB public transport bus, but the ones to be most wary are the tourist buses driven by drivers who are less familiar with the twists and turns of the road and are not the most welcome sight as you round a hairpin bend, with the edge of the cliff 6 inches to your right and he’s in the middle of the road
4. Emergency Services vehicles with blue lights flashing - believe it or not, we did experience this today on our return journey; presumably dashing to the assistance of a cyclist who had ended up in a ditch or suchlike (whilst I was tempted on a couple of occasions, I am not aware that I ‘clipped’ any cyclists as I overtook them riding two abreast, but my eyes were pealed to the road ahead, rather than my rear-view mirror, so one never knows)

Once at Sa Calobra, there is a short walk from the car park along the cliff path towards the entrance to the Torrent de Pareis, which enters the sea at the pebbly beach, with 300 metre cliffs rising either side to make for a spectacular view.

The worst part of the cliff path, is that in two stretches it enters tunnels which on this occasion were not lit, so apart from watching where you are treading, which becomes slippery due to the moisture from the rocks, for a guy of my size, the more worrying danger is the headroom.

Anyway, we survive the experience, take our photographs and head back to Palma via Soller, later than our usual 16:00 time slot, so that we encounter more of the rush hour traffic around the ring road, before reaching Son Vida closer to 17:00.

R&R

After a quick Pitstop, we head for the Balcony of Mallorca, which is beautifully sunny today, when temperatures have been in the low twenties, so we sit there with our drinks, whilst Jose regales us with the intricacies of ordering drinks en Espanol - including the differences between una copa de cava & un vaso de cerveza (it’s a minefield).

We don’t stop long and I resist the nibbles, as my tummy is still a bit ‘iffy’ and then it’s back to the room, where we have an hour of Duolingo before getting ready for dinner tonight.

COR Barra y Taula

Tapas is very popular here in Mallorca and elsewhere throughout Spain, although it’s never been our favourite, largely on account of our difficulty in knowing which combinations work well and how big the portions are going to be - if glasses are confusing, then tapas, racions, platos are something else.

However, Pep has persuaded us to try this new restaurant / bar behind the Mercat D’Olivar, as it is run by Santi Taura and offers his take on some of the traditional dishes with his own innovations, in a relaxed setting, with options of bar / restaurante.

Our taxi deposits us 5 minutes before the upstairs dining room opens, but no matter, we bide our time and are soon shown to our table, and others quickly follow in what must be a popular choice in downtown Palma tonight.

It’s not until we study the motif which adorns the plates / napkins and art around the place that we realise that ‘Cor’ is Mallorquin for ‘Heart’.

The service is good and we order our selection of tapas and bocadillos, which duly arrive and prove our point about the size of the portions when the patatas bravas turn out to be big enough to feed an army.

It’s an enjoyable experience, in a relaxed setting, but I’m still not feeling like coffee / torta de almendra, so we head straight back to Son Vida by taxi from the town centre and more or less straight to bed.

The Idiom’s Guide to Mallorca

I took the opportunity to seek clarification of yesterday's offering from Pep earlier today and it transpires that ‘Daxionar’ is a made-up word, substituted for anything else that you cannot immediately remember the name of - a Spanish equivalent of ‘thingummyjig’ or ‘wotsit’ apparently.

Today’s offering could only come from Tomas!

‘Quaranta anys de puta i encara no sap remanar es cul’

 .....which somewhat improbably translates as ‘forty years as a whore, and you still can’t find your ass’!!!!!!!

It’s not as bad as it sounds, as its usage refers to when someone has been doing a job for a long time, but perhaps in the eyes of others, still doesn’t know everything about the job that they should.

I wonder why Tomas should have been the designated author Pep?!

And so to bed, said Zebedee!